If you fall will you get up?
by Halabehar
Summary: An exorcism goes wrong and Dean makes a deal in order to get Sam back. Then something happens.


He tried to come up with a solution. Something. But the best idea that occured to him had not done any good. So he thinks and wonders until his head starts aching and he feels like he´s falling and failing. He looks at him. Maybe his eyes have turned black but it´s still him, Sam, his Sammy. And Dean knows Sam is in there somewhere, probably screaming.

Everything happened so fast and all of a sudden he realises that Sam isn't tied up anymore and he is grabbing him by the arm and knocking him up in the face. He doesn't feel the pain, he just tastes the blood from his bottom lip that was just bruised by Sam's fist. But he can't give up yet, not while Sam is still in there. He just can't. Maybe it will work, maybe it won´t, but Dean knows that he is going to make that fucking thing leave Sam's body, whatever it is. And he's willing to do it at all costs. Maybe if Sam fought just a little harder... 

Sam is tied up, locked up, inside himself. He looks around and it´s like his own eyes are not his anymore. Maybe they aren't. He sees Dean, and himself hurting him, and he watches him bleed as he gets up again each time, each time falling back on the floor, painfully. Sam is tired of trying, tired of fighting it. But he keeps it on, because his brother would do the same and if Dean can, he can too.

Dean tries to look for Sam behind those big dark eyes. The look on his face is saying: 'Sammy are you there? Don't give up, I'm coming for you.' At that moment the demon gets closer to Dean's face, leaving only a few centimeters between them, getting ready for the next move. But Dean doesn't let him make his move, and he kisses him hard, looking for Sam, telling him to fight and come back. The demon stops the kiss and crashes him onto the wall while Dean lies there waiting for the next punch to hit him. But instead of that, Sam's tongue is in his mouth and one of his legs is between Dean's, brushing his cock hard. Dean doesn't know if it´s the demon or that Sam has returned very horny from hell, but it's not like he's thinking about that just now. He just closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling, moans, and mumbles a few incoherent words. 

Sam feels it, the demon is still inside of him. But it's losing control, and Sam's gaining it again. At least he thinks he is, and although he hasn't won control over his body yet he can feel his hard-on in his pants. And God whatever that thing is doing, it does feel incredibly good.

Sam breaks the kiss only to lick Dean's neck, kissing it and slowly going down. He bites his brother's nipples and Dean is pulling his hair with both hands, trying to hold on. Dean's trousers and boxers are already gone and Sam makes him bend over, facing the wall. He runs his tongue over Dean's back as he puts a finger up Dean's ass, then two, and finally three fingers and starts moving them, inside out, slowly, inside out, then harder. And now it seems that the one who's losing control is Dean himself.

- "GoddammitmotherfuckerFuckmeSam!"

But Sam waits, and he grabs Dean´s cock and starts rubbing it, playing with his balls while Dean scratches the wall, fingers bleeding. Then Sam works the tip of his cock inside of Dean, slowly enter all of himself and when he´s completely inside he finally starts moving, faster each time, Dean crying out with every thrust. The feeling is overwhelming for both of them, both men are moaning and panting. Dean is about to come but Sam doesn't let him and makes him turn around to face him, and he kisses him again making their teeth collide, and Sam tastes Dean's blood in his mouth, the blood coming from the bruise he made himself.

Sam takes both of their cocks in his huge hand and starts jerking them off at the same time. Just when Dean is about to come Sam stops, leaving Dean begging him not to. He goes down slowly, gets on his knees and stretches his tongue out to lick Dean's dick, and take it all finally all inside his mouth. Dean is having a hard time trying not to come, to give whatever the demon wants from him.

- "Fuck Sam, please."

They finally come and fall to the floor, Dean on top of Sam, sweaty and sticky, still enjoying the feeling of their orgasms.

Dean doesn't know weither to look at Sam or not, he isn't sure if he is going to see his Sam, or that demon with the big black eyes again. Sure, letting your little brother fuck you isn't right, but Dean has to admit that letting your possessed brother fuck you is kinda twisted, even for him.

Before he has time to make up his mind he hears Sam whisper his name.

- "Dean?"  
Dean looks at him and the black eyes are gone, Sam is back. And then a feeling of relief covers all his body.  
- "Are you..?" Dean starts saying.  
- "It's still here Dean, I don't think I can hold it back much longer. You should leave now that you can..."  
- "The hell I´m leaving now!"  
- "Please Dean, I don't want to hurt you."  
- "Well, you weren't exactly hurting me you know..."  
- "Dean!"

They laugh. They are both scared shitless, but yet it feels good. Dean always knows how to make Sam laugh at the most innapropriate moments, and he knows that Sam appreciates the effort. There is no way Dean is leaving Sam there alone, with that thing still inside of him, without knowing what it's gonna do next.

- "So what do we do now? The exorcism didn't work, the fucking didn't either... I´m running out of ideas here."

Sam sits up and Dean waits for him to say something, thinking he might have had an idea that may help them get out of this mess.

- "I don't know about you, but I think you should have listened to your little brother when he said the best thing you could do was run while you had the chance."

Dean lies on the floor, shocked, and Sam is suddenly gone and then everything turns black. 

Sam has already used all the strenght he had, for nothing. He had lost control over his body and he still hasn't figured out why the demon or whatever it is wants his body for. For a moment he thinks it would be better to give up and not resist the possession. If he doesn't try, if he doesn't scream, maybe it won't hurt that bad. But then he is putting Dean's body inside of the Impala's trunk and his spirit vanishes leaving nothing but memories behind.

Sam gets in the car and starts driving.

Dean opens his eyes once in a while, he can feel the movement, the road is under him. He doesn't know where he is being taken to, he doesn't know how long he has been in there, he has stopped counting. He knows Sam has stopped at least a couple of times, probably for gas, and it's not like he hasn't tried to get out of there but he is tied and the trunk is closed from the outside, so he just stares at the ceiling and waits.

- "I'm so killing that fucking thing if the car has any scratches when I get out of here."

Sam stops the car, and Dean prays for wherever they are to be the destination. Sam opens the trunk and the sunlight makes Dean's eyes hurt, he blinks them a few times, trying to get used to it.

Sam grabs him and pushes him to the floor without saying a thing.

- "Where are we?" Dean asks.  
- "Just take a look around you, see anything familiar?" but Dean isn´t listening.  
- "Where's Sam?"  
- "That's a good question. Don´t worry, he isn't here anymore, it's just you and me now."  
- "Don't fucking lie to me. I swear if you don't leave Sam's body I'll..."   
- "You'll what? Cry so hard you´ll make me regret being this bad? C'mon Dean Winchester, you can do better than that, I´ve seen it myself."

Dean tries to hold himself back and not punch Sam right in the face, but he knows Sam will hold it against him when he comes back, because he is coming back. Dean is gonna make sure of that.

- "What is it that you want from us anyway?"  
- "I've heard a lot about you guys, the Winchester boys. Dean, Sammy and big John. You can't always kill and get away with it you know Dean, and your father got what he deserved. Who would have thought anyway that your father would sacrifice himself just so you guys could stay here fucking each other up the ass. Gotta tell you, that was unexpected."  
- "Oh God please. Cut the shit already, and get to the point."  
- "Never change huh? Okay, let's get to business then."

Sam doesn't know how much time has passed. He doesn't know where he has been, he just feels as if he has been sleeping for a long time, unaware of the world around him. His body is sore but it's just him, there isn't anything else, like there was the last time. The demon is gone.

He opens his eyes and the sunlight blinds him for a couple of seconds. First thing he does is look for Dean, he doesn't see him at first but then he realises he's sitting just next to him, waiting. Like he knew he was coming back even before Sam himself.

- "Dean?"

Dean stares at him, and Sam can't quite figure out what the look on his face means.

- "Hey Sammy, you alright?"  
- "Uh... yeah, what the hell just happened Dean? Why are you...?"  
- "It´s okay Sam, we made it."

Sam doesn't understand. He doesn't understand why the demon is gone all of a sudden and Dean is fine when the last thing he had seen was an unconscious Dean being put inside the Impala's trunk. And just like that, everything is alright? 

They stay quiet and the only sound left is the wind blowing. 

Sam notices then that Dean's nose is bleeding. He moves and sits next to him, Dean's eyes looking to the floor as his feet play around with the gravel.

- "Dean..." says Sam pointing at his nose with his right hand.  
Sam goes closer but Dean gets up in a hurry.  
- "C´mon Sam, let´s get out of here shall we?" Dean says, walking away as he wipes the blood falling down his mouth off and leaves Sam with a question in his mouth and a worried look on his face. 

Dean has already got into the car and Sam goes over the car's location but doesn´t get in just yet, hoping for an explanation to come out of Dean´s mouth. But Dean only asks if he's coming, so Sam gets in the car, figuring he may ask as well later. It seems like Dean doesn´t want to stay in that place longer than neccessary and to tell the truth, neither does him. He´ll ask the questions later.

Dean starts the car and drives, leaving behind whatever has happened during Sam's unconsciousness. Sam watches him. Eyes on the road, hands steady on the steering wheel, he doesn´t even turn on the radio, just drives. He doesn´t say a word until he stops the car at some cheap motel and tells Sam that they´ll stay there until they´re ready to go. Sam nods and stays in the car until Dean returns with the room key, takes his stuff and points to their room with his eyes.

The room is nothing special, just the usual. Little room, little bathroom, two little beds, little everything. Sam sits in one of the beds watching as Dean sits in the only chair the room has, takes one of his guns out of his bag, and gets ready to clean it.

-"Dean"

Dean makes a strange noise probably meaning to say he´s busy. Sam doesn´t care.

-"Are you planning to tell me what happened sometime soon?"

-"What´s to tell? We ended up in that place, I still had some holy water left, used it with you and finished the exorcism. That´s it."

-"Right. And you´re telling me you somehow managed to finish the exorcism without the book? Not to mention it didn´t work the first time you tried..."

-"Well, yeah"

Sam gives him a disapproving look.

-"What? I´ve been doing my homework. You should be thanking me."

-"I´m not saying I´m not glad you brought me back, but I find it hard to believe it was that easy."

-"I wouldn´t exactly call it "easy" Sam."

-"You know that´s not what I meant."

-"No Sam, I get it. I´ve just told you what happened. If you don´t want to believe it fine. Whatever."

Dean gets up and as soon as he does, Sam knows the conversation is over. But Sam´s not ready to give up, not yet. He goes after him and grabs his arm, and Dean can feel the pain of the cut he´s got in his arm mixed with the electricity of Sam´s touch.

-"Get off me Sam."

But Sam doesn´t, and instead he takes a closer look at Dean´s arm, where blood is drawing from a bad shaped bruise. He hadn´t noticed because Dean hadn´t taken his coat off until now, but it looks horrible and painful.

-"Dean, this is deep. Did you get it clean?"

-"Right. Umm no. Didn't have the time to. Sorry I wasn´t worrying about myself when I was busy trying to bring you back!"

-"Whatever." Sam stays quiet for a minute but then he keeps talking.-"Okay then, take your shirt off. I want to make sure you´re really okay."

Sam is sure that Dean is going to make some silly comment and refuse but instead he just starts to unbutton his shirt, what leaves Sam even more clueless about what´s got into Dean. He finally takes his shirt off and throws it onto the bed.

Sam doesn´t even know how Dean can be standing there on his own two feet, his chest full of scracthes and wounds, some worse than others and some of them still bleeding, and yet there he is as if he was completely fine.

- "C´mon man, don´t give me that look just for a few scratches. They´re not my first.."

- "Well Dean, you´re a fucking asshole for pretending you´re okay when you CLEARLY are not. Now fucking sit down so I can take a look at those, I swear I'll kill you one of these days. Wait here while I go to take some bandages and stuff to clean those. Don´t move."-

Sam walks out of the room and heads to the car. Once he´s done taking what he needs he goes back and when he walks in the room he hears the water of the shower running so he leaves his stuff on the table, sits and waits for Dean to come out of the bathroom. Ten minutes pass, then twenty and the water´s still running, Sam knocks on the bathroom´s door. -"Dean? What the hell is taking you so long?" When he doesn´t get an answer he expects the worst, and his expectation is confirmed when the room is completely empty when he opens the door. -"I´m fucking killing him when he gets back!" Sam growls.

Sam walks around the room, it´s been almost three hours and there´s no sign of Dean yet, the sun is gone and so is his brother. He has no idea where he might have gone and figures it´s better to stay there and wait for some more time. He tried to call him on his cellphone but there´s no answer. He leaves a couple of messages saying how fucking stupid he is and telling him to come back and he looks out of the window hoping to see Dean somewhere.

He´s half asleep on the bed when he hears a noise coming from outside of the motel room´s door, he gets up to open it but then thinks about it and takes his gun, just in case. He then opens the door to find Dean crawling on the floor laughing about what the hell knows.

-"Are you drunk? You´ve got to be kidding me!"

-"Hey... that´s MY line!"

Sam rolls his eyes, grabs him and helps him get inside. He sits him on the bed, he doesn´t know whether to hit him, maybe with something really heavy or kiss him for coming back. He takes some alcohol and some bandages and sits beside him.

-"Are you gonna tell me where the hell have you been?"

-"Awesome party dude, you should´ve come. There was this chick with these big..."-

-"Shut up Dean. I don´t know why I asked. Now, stay still I´m going to clean these before they fucking get infected, that if they haven´t yet, which wouldn't surprise me."

-"I´m fine Sam, I really am."

-"Shut the fuck up Dean and don´t move. I´d give you something to stand the pain but since you´re already drunk we can skip that part."

Sam takes a wet towel first and wipes away the dry blood off from Dean´s chest, very carefully.

-"You´re such a girl Sammy, you know that? This is no big deal, I can perfectly... Damnit Sam careful with that stuff would you? Fucking hurts." Dean says when he feels the first drops of alcohol that Sam has put on a washcloth running through his chest.

Sam laughs. "You were saying?"

They stay quiet while Sam finishes to clean him up, when he does he takes some bandages and puts them around the worse wounds.

-"You´re lucky you didn´t need any stitches you know."

Dean doesn´t answer.

-"Does it hurt now?"-

-"Not so much."

-"Liar."-

Sam knows it´s not the most appropiate moment to think about all the things he wants to do to Dean right now, but they´re sitting on the same bed, and Dean is shirtless and Sam knows it´s wrong he´s getting horny when they haven´t even done anything yet but still... seeing his brother all vulnerable like that shouldn't turn him on. Sam moves closer and rests his chin on Dean´s shoulder.

The moment Dean feels Sam´s breath on his skin makes his hair tingle and his heart starts beating faster. He can feel Sam smiling, he noticed, he always does.

Sam bites his shoulder gently.

-"Does it hurt less now?"

-"Stop it Sam."

But Sam doesn´t listen and starts kissing his neck and running his left hand over his arm.

-"Sam cut it out, I mean it."

-"Yeah Dean like you always do."

Sam keeps going, he´s used to Dean pretending he doesn´t want him at first sometimes. But when Sam´s other hand reaches Dean´s trousers and puts it inside...

-"I SAID FUCKING STOP IT SAM, DAMNIT!" says Dean getting off Sam and putting his shirt on.

Sam doesn´t know what to say, doesn´t know what to do. There are only a few things Sam always knew were never going to happen, and one of them was Dean rejecting him, not wanting him.

-"Sorry Dean... we should probably leave this for another moment right? With you like this and all. It´s okay, I can wait."

-"God, it´s not because of that. There´s never going to be another moment, do you hear me? Never."

-"What do you mean.. why?" Sam says, feeling hurt and confused.

-"Because it´s not right Sam, that´s fucking why."

-"And you´ve realised this when exactly? Was it something I said? I mean, when I was... Because you do know it wasn´t me doing the talking, right?"

-"Sam, don´t. Just forget it. All the things we did, all the things we said, they never happened alright? And they never will."

-"Whatever you´re thinking Dean, I´m not buying it."

-"Go to sleep Sam." Dean whispers, turning his back on him.

Sam grabs his arm and makes Dean face him.

-"You can´t just walk away from me. From this."

-"No? Watch me."

Dean pushes him away and when Sam tries to stop him from leaving, the older brother punches him, making him fall to the floor. He doesn´t move because he isn´t sure he´ll be able to even if he tried. Dean looks at him one last time, then walks out the door. It´s cold outside, and Dean breathes in filling his lungs with the cold air.

Everything´s just started.


End file.
